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Stop settling start living
I’m going to show you ONE TIP to overcome fear and anxiety in under 3 seconds.
I want to tell you a quick story about how I met my current girlfriend (relates to fear). I know you can relate to the fear of dating someone or asking someone out. There I was, 23 years old out of college. Just got out of a 2-year relationship in college, figuring out what I was going to do in life, self-esteem was pretty rock bottom. Talking about getting out there again with an old friend from high school + reminiscing about fun times “back in the day”.
Later that night, I was on Facebook — and a woman we spoke about who I haven’t seen in over 4 years pops up. One of those moments in life where things line up — literally talking about this girl 4 hours ago for the first time in 4 years, what does this mean? Superstitious. She looks really good — check. Stalking Facebook profile seems like she’s gone to college and intelligent — check. In Seattle — check. Okay — I’m going to shoot her a message to catch up. Then it hit me. The fear, the thoughts — “what if she says it’s creepy” or “what if she doesn’t remember me” or “what if she has a boyfriend”. So I shut the laptop and walked away. I froze up. Even sending some stupid text message online scared me half to death.
But what I did next is what I’ll share with you, and it took 3 seconds — but it’s changed my life the past 3 years.
All felt fear before. Maybe asking someone out? Maybe before you got up to speak in front of people? Maybe when you were asking a boss for a raise? Maybe when you were about to drop in a halfpipe skateboarding — the thing that determines your success or failure in life is HOW you handle FEAR. Three things you need to know before getting over fear:
1. Fear is good 2M-year-old brains keep us alive — not shoot DMs to people we knew 4 years ago online.
2. Fear is primal. Fraud says fear is so primal — ripped away from the mother at birth and cry. Need another person to survive for 5 years+ of our life. Trying to fill that hole or needs we never met.
3. Courage is not the absence of fear — believe it’s the response TO fear. if you want to do ANYTHING great in life, need to master fear.
So back to that 3-second rule, I was going to share with you.
I used to follow pickup artist community back in high school. How do they do it? These guys with severe social anxiety overcome and go to clubs with goofy hats, bracelets, and are 3/10 walk away from the night with a 9/10!? I took and still use today is this.
That is, when you feel fear come up, take action w/ in 3 seconds. FORCE yourself — THROW yourself into whatever it is before 3 seconds, and you’re much more likely to DO IT. 99% of the time, it will work out and you’ll get the response you wanted. If it doesn’t work out, guess what? failure is feedback — adjust approach and try next time! More data.
EX: fear Ask boss for raise — they say no. WORST that can happen. So if we were to look at that bet, the WORST thing is they say No, the best thing is you make extra 15% this year doing the same job!
3 SR cuts off your logical system in brain — the part that normally allows you to rationalize your way out of taking action.
MY EX: So I used this to shoot a message to my now girlfriend. Met up and instantly clicked. Still going strong to this day. Me my girlfriend would never have traveled to Thailand. She’s now my best friend. Best relationship I’ve been in. Traveling this year with her. Would have NEVER had any of that if I didn’t do that little 3-second rule take action trick.
stop settling start living: feel the fear and do it anyway Nervous? Anxious? Think about this: What if you DON’T do it? FOR SURE nothing will happen. Stay the exact same. Picture everything going right if you do it. What you will gain. What will your life be like if you DON’T do this?
MY PRODUCTS & COURSES:
The Ultimate Guide to Keeping A Journal ► http://www.mybestjournal.com
YouTube Success Formula (Kindle) ► http://amzn.to/2j86PRU
Gear & Resources I Recommend ► http://refusingtosettle.com
Hair Product Company I own/use “Kegley & Co” ► https://kegleyco.com/
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